That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
