Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
