i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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