and you said cock pushups were impossible
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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