Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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