I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
