I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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