You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
