I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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