her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
