Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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