Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
