I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
