Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
