ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
