I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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