So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
