It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
