I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
