No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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