He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
