I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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