these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
