margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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