I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Im part way to drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize