I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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