I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Welp...herpes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
