he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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