ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
