singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
