Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Houston, we have a squirter
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
