4 words: hood of his car
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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