I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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