listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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