At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
