I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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