I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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