I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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