just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
