sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
