i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
