whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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