I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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