my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
