How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think my moral compass just broke
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