I'm really into asian looking animals
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
