I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
