In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
