I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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