after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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