This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
