home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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