You made me cry and you don't even care
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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