I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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