I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
