watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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