btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
