i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
